Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
