I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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