Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
