How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Randomize
