How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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