So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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