Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Damn victory sex feels great
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize