just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.