): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned