If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
