There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize