You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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