no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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