You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
