Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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