all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
