Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I need to sanitize my soul.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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