it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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