belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
