i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
