she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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