I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
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Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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