well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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