It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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