I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
