I should be sponsored by Trojan
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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