alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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