The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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