Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
