No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
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