You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
