Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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