You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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