I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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