Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Drunk is not a location!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
