the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
