I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
