I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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