i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
