she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well I just put wine in my tea
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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