with your own penis?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
