dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
