then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
