dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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