OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
