I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize