Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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