Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
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Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
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Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Enjoy the penises
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize