i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
