What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
