She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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