Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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