If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
