i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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