I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
