So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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