I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
