i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
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You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
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We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize