if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
