I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
