Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
