I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
