Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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