We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
