if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Randomize
