AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
my liver is dry heaving
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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