Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
A+ Viking dick
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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