I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
